FIFA – F*ck, I Failed Again?

IMMA CHARGIN MAH FIFAH

IMMA CHARGIN MAH FIFAH

In this eloquent blog entry by EA Sports’ Peter Moore, he critisized good, wholesome sites like Eurogamer for not bothering to put FIFA’s latest cloned offering in their Christmas top 50 games of 2008. Seriously, I think the man is delusional. So delusional I’m going to actually answer all the angry questions he put in that entry myself, and highlight some of the worst mistakes you can make as a public-recognised games figurehead. Here goes.

Firstly, happy holidays to everyone in EA SPORTS Nation. I hope you all have had a restful few days and have been able to get your sports fix in front of the TV without your wife/girlfriend/mom/mum giving you a bad time…

Okay, no, no, no. Apparently, according to one of the figureheads of EA Sports, men are the only people who play sports related video games, and furthermore, women are more than simply obstacles to playing videogames at Christmas. In fact, I’m hoping you’re not in a relationship, because if you are you better hope she’s not reading your blog ;)

I scrolled quickly all the way to the number one spot…Huh? WTF?? As in WHERE THE HELL IS FIFA 09???

Oh boy. You’ve gone from middle aged man to twelve year old Halo player in the space of half a line. Nice FIFA acronym. I like mine more than yours, though.

Now I get that the sports genre is the Rodney Dangerfield of games when the awards are handed out. But c’mon, one of the best sports games of recent times not even in the Top 50? This title will sell in excess of 10 million units when all is done and dusted, but doesn’t even rank a mention?

I’m sorry, since when did random games not in a list get mentions in a list? Are you seriously suggesting that Eurogamer add a PS to their top 50 saying “Oh, by the way, we like FIFA 09′?

Really? Seriously? Is it not cool to include a so-called mass market game? Bangai-O Spirits (no disrespect Treasure) makes it and FIFA 09 doesn’t?

Bit hard not to mean any disrespect to a developer reading your blog if you’ve just stated your game is better than theirs. Though, interesting irony here, as he’s comparing two games that couldn’t be less similar.

Eurogamer – you are and always will be one of my favorite gaming web-sites, but you were waaaay offside on this one.

No sense of humour, no sense of humour… oh wait! A football joke! But I liked the bit where you told a website that its collective opinion was wrong. I think “opinion”’s dictionary entry needs to be broadcast all over the Internet, sometimes.

Rant over – Happy New Year to all.

(storms off to raise money for Steven Gerrard’s legal defense)

If it were me, it’d be EA’s legal defense I’d be thinking about after publically acting this immaturely.

There’s passion, and then there’s arrogance. I expected it from people commenting on the article on Eurogamer. I didn’t expect this from one of the people involved with one of the titles millions around the world purchase every year. Maybe the reason it didn’t get in might have something to do with the fact it was the best game of, say, 2005, but since then, nothing has actually changed? If you’re not willing to make anything original, what’s the point in advocating your product as such? Best games series of all time, yeah, I’d think you’d definitely deserve a mention, and I don’t even like football that much. But even Sonic Unleashed was a more original take on a stagnating series of games than FIFA ‘09 was, Pete. Lay off, and grow up.

Let Go of Lego

Me and my missus' Hallowe'en costumes, LEGO-fied.

Me and my missus' Hallowe'en costumes, LEGO-fied.

While reading an Internet news blog earlier tonight, I began to wonder if the concept of yet another Lego game was enticing, or simply just filled with empty expectations. Lego Rock Band? Are you serious, Travellers Tales? For one, it’s just Rock Band with different background visuals, and maybe coloured Lego bricks instead of the little horizontal bars scrolling down the screen. Which actually made me giggle internally, I’m ashamed to admit.

I loved Lego Indiana Jones, I got a big kick out of Lego Star Wars, but what trilogies can realistically be done now? Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are among the possibles, and I’ve enjoyed both, but do I really want to play the same game again with different scenery? It’s still going to be collecting enough lego bits to be a “True Wizard/Hobbit”, it’ll want you to unlock every character, even Gollum, and don’t even get me started on the utter hilarity of Lego LOTR revolving round a small round object a Lego figure has no fingers to put it on.

Someone at That Videogame Blog said they were waiting for Lego Lego Star Wars. I can’t agree more, to be honest. It’s a matter of time before they eat through all franchises. And yet, where the hell is the LEGO MMORPG? If anything could prove a serious contender to World of Warcraft (by serious I mean the 0.000001% of the market share that’s left after 11 million WoW subs), it’s a Lego MMO. Imagine raiding Molten Core with Lego people, Lego PvP, Lego grinding, the sheer scale of character customisation, not to mention how easy creating new game worlds would be, hell, all the “building blocks” are there, pun intended.

I just wish Traveller’s Tales would re-evaluate their formula. Stop making the same game. It sells very well to four year olds, and me and my missus, because Lego Batman was, let’s be honest, faithful to DC and a work of genius. But it was the same as the last game, and the game before it. Unless the next release is Lego Online: Rise of the Sticklebricks, I’m not interested.

C@ and Mouse

The snakes pulse blue light. *grins*

The snakes pulse blue light. *grins*

Hello all, it’s the weekend, but my wonderfully awesome looking Razer Deathadder just arrived, and I can’t help but share my joy about how impressed I am by it. For forty pounds sterling, it’s wonderfully sleek, light, customisable from sensitivity to macros to DPI settings, and along with the cushion-equipped Razer Exactmat that it was bought alongside (not to mention another for the missus) it’s been a wonderful day full of smooth, sleek control gaming.

The wonder that is the final term of the last portion of education to ruin my free time begins once again on Monday, but the updates will still be daily, although possibly shorter around Thursday due to some work commitments. It’ll be nice to see the video games industry start itself up again this week, and hopefully we’ll get some nice release date suprises, as compared to the Gears 2, Metal Gear Solid 4, LittleBigPlanet, Too Human, Prince of Persia, Fallout 3, FarCry 2 etc-filled year that’s just gone past, it’s got some heavy catching up to do.

Not to mention the formal start to this blog, so fingers damn well crossed for how it goes, I suppose.

*Slinks back to Spore’s space age*

Prince of Persia

The thing about the Prince of Persia legacy is that it’s been given the perfect game already, and everything that’s followed has been either trying to be that particular title with a slight twist, or something desperate to break out of the huge cage of expectations that followed The Sands of Time.

Yeah, you wish it was him. Suck it up.

Yeah, you wish it was him. Suck it up.

 

 

 

The game itself is a work of art, quite literally; all the textures are like something out of Watercolour Challenge, and it’s an energizing take on the cel-shaded revolution put in place by Nintendo’s Wind Waker title. However, the initial look was a shock to gamers searching for that gritty mud-brown and meh-grey bleak colour scheme that seems all too popular nowadays. Hell, the only game that got away without the cliché stamp was Fallout 3 and they had to nuke the landscape to have an excuse.

However, there’ve been a ton of colourful, wonderfully designed game worlds in the last few years, but for the vast majority, they’ve all been horrendous. Mainly because the only games that even dare to put colours verging on happy are titles intended for children, such as the Viva Piñata series. But the colour was the first thing that struck me in the game, as the visuals made me feel like I was watching a very well crafted film. The dust sprays away from the princes feet as he lands, and the cartoony wisps of mineral-based smoke that dwindle into the air are reminiscent of something out of the creative mind of Nintendo, or Disney, and the game settles into a more relaxed pace.

The “relaxed pace” schematic is something Ubisoft have followed with this title to a T – gone are the furious rattling-off of button combinations in order to simply not die, as Warrior Within so melodramatically demonstrated, and in are occasional button pushes that feel like slight nudges towards the Prince’s goal, as opposed to the rigorous constant control of Assassin’s Creed, the Ubisoft title that this game’s control system takes a lot of influence from.

It’s part of the whole parkour uprising in titles. Speaking as someone who played Mirror’s Edge, loved the concept, thought the gameplay was amazing but the story dismal, same going for Ubisoft’s medieval hitman experience; Prince of Persia is a refreshing change of pace. You can run along walls, up walls, across ceilings (albeit briefly), jump, double jump (it’s a double jump, people who try to name it via the manual’s definition are lying to themselves) and so on and so forth. It’s a brilliant system that adds one element to the genre that both Creed and Edge really did suck at; instant restarts.

I’m running along a wall, I don’t jump off in time, and I fall. In Creed, I would have to run along the street, away from guards, get onto the rooftop five blocks from where I was, hide, fail, hide twenty blocks away, then slowly slog my way back. Mirror’s Edge just reset you to a checkpoint miles away - literally sometimes. However, here, I fall, Elika (the game’s thankfully not scantily-clad female sidekick, bless you Ubisoft for being mature) reaches out her magical hand, and I reappear on the last flat surface I jumped off. Brilliant. But the problem with this is I stopped caring. I fell, went, fell, went, and slogged my way through the harder bits by landing often enough that I was slowly moving my checkpoint forward bit by bit. It’s like the Vita-Chambers in Bioshock; lack of penalty for failure will result in lack of interest in it, too.

A small suggestion here, Ubisoft; video game enthusiasts are okay with the concept of dying in a game. It’s not real. We did it a thousand times in Ghosts and Ghouls, Geometry Wars and the wonderfully unforgiving Library level on Halo’s legendary difficulty setting. Let him die. Let him restart from the beginning. Don’t go all the way and give us a “lives” system, because the only franchise still doing that so anally is Sonic, and I don’t even need to mention Unleashed before everyone groans. Instant restarts do indeed speed up the pace and help not interrupt the flow of the game experience, but playing the same five seconds of a path over and over is boring. Let me go back a minute or so, pick a different route, and go that way. Or, I would, if you hadn’t secretly structured the game world so that’s impossible and only ONE path leads to ONE area and that’s that. The gameplay begins to feel a bit military then, and it’s a tad depressing to know that a game with freerunnning elements isn’t actually very free at all.

The gameplay does help support the experience, though, as the free-running adds a lot of pace to a storyline that doesn’t need any, but benefits nonetheless. Big Evil God, four lieutenants, some creature-like underlings and a big cage to chuck them all back in. I’ve done this before. But I liked the twist; this time the Big Nice God isn’t here. In fact, he left ages ago because he couldn’t face the music for the Big Evil God being so nasty and not wanting to be caged for a thousand years. This left me with a sense of independence, that it really was up to my character and not some half-arsed celestial long-term contingency plan involving a mere mortal and a god who can shape landscapes but apparently can’t keep one shaped around his evil counterpart.

So, the story pans out, the gameplay is fun, and the art style is great. The music’s a nice touch as well, as I think you can notch up any music you find yourself humming days later, or simply leaving on in the background when you’re not playing. It’s all comprised of enjoyable orchestral pieces, and they’re tame enough to be background-esque without taking charge of the experience, which is another reason why I’d never buy a game John Williams wrote the score for, as the only thing I got out of Lego Star Wars was sixteen notes stuck in my head for a month.

It’s a title worth a look, and definitely something you shouldn’t pay too much attention to the bad reviews about. Those who slam bold adventures in today’s gaming scene, such as this, Mirror’s Edge and others, should really learn to stop and take a look at the sales figures for LittleBigPlanet, Viva Piñata, Grim Fandango and interestingly enough, Gears of War in my opinion.

He who dares, wins.

And so it begins.

Well, after a year or so of constantly writing about video games, preceded in part by fifteen solid years of talking about, playing, thinking about, and obsessing over them, I thought it was time that I began my own blog, as journalists who work via the Internet very rarely are seen without one.

I’ll be sticking links up to anything I’ve written off this site, as re-posting them on this blog seems a waste of space. Instead, you get editorials, reviews, previews, interviews and news articles of personal interest to me and gamers generally. It’ll be interesting to see how this goes, as it’ll be all raw stuff without any need for a writing style dictated by the editor gods above. A quick nod to the missus then, as without her suggestion I’d have never sorted out the domain and the blog, and it’s nice to have someone who’ll understand that you’re tired because of Banjo Kazooie instead of hard work (thanks Poohbie).

So without further ado, go team journo.